I bet you probably thought I was never going to blog again, didn't you? Honestly, so did I! But my brain is overloaded these days, and Facebook doesn't always seem like the best place to share my excess thoughts. I would love to get in the habit of writing, either on here or in a personal journal. I've realized that I'm never going to be perfect at it, but I guess writing once in a blue moon is better than never.
So the big news for the Isenhour family is that we are expecting a new baby in September! It seems like there is another baby boom coming, and I'm really excited! I have 2 good friends from high school that are expecting within a week or two of me, at least two cousins that are due around the same time, and it seems like I hear about someone else who is pregnant every day! That means our new baby will have lots of friends the same age!
This is the first day of my second trimester! Woohoo! Even though I've seen the little bean on the ultrasound and heard the baby's heartbeat, I'm still in that surreal phase where I have to keep telling myself that I'm really pregnant. I don't think that really changed when I was pregnant with Callie until I had felt her move and found out she was a girl. That is not to say that my body isn't reminding me every minute that I'm pregnant. It is.
I've had friends tell me how different it is to be pregnant with your second (or third, or fourth) child, and I knew it would be, but I'm still surprised about how true it is. With my first pregnancy, there was this sense of urgency and impatience that was almost painful. I read my What to Expect book every week to see what was going on with the baby and what came next. I couldn't wait for my doctor's appointments, and I cried most of the day when we had to reschedule our anatomy ultrasound. Now, like I said, I know I'm pregnant, but it's kind of at the back of my mind. Callie is my first priority in everything that I think and do. I realize how little time she has left as an only child, and I just want to take advantage of this time, instead of trying to rush it. I'm sure once I get big and uncomfortable I will be wishing for the time to go by faster, but right now I'm kind of enjoying taking it a day at a time.
I am so thankful to have another opportunity to bring life into this world. It is a miracle and a gift, one that not everyone is able to have in this life. I consider myself very blessed to have a beautiful, healthy daughter and to have another child on the way. I have also been blessed with a really easy pregnancy this time. My first pregnancy was normal, and although I had morning sickness, it wasn't at the same level as most women I know. This time, I haven't had any. I was so worried that I would have a hard time taking care of Callie if I was sick, and I am grateful every day that morning sickness hasn't been an issue.
That being said, I have realized that I will never be one of those people who can say that I enjoy being pregnant or even that I don't mind it. I don't like it at all. When I was pregnant with Callie, even through the sickness, I was propelled by this high of knowing that I was going to have A BABY! I remember Josh telling me that he thought I seemed happier than I had our whole marriage. That happiness is still there now, under the surface, but it's not as prominent as it was last time. I already have my baby in front of my eyes, and she makes my life feel complete, even though I know I will love this new baby too. Maybe when my hormones are a little more under control (they ARE supposed to even out in the second trimester, right?) I will have a more positive attitude... but for now, let me tell you that pregnancy sucks. Mostly in the physical aspect, but also in the emotional aspect, because as I mentioned, the hormones are out of control. I would list all the things that make pregnancy feel miserable, but if you have children, you've already been there and know all about it (unless you're one of those who say you love pregnancy, in which case, please don't ever mention it to me). If you haven't had children, you probably don't want to hear about every little thing that is affecting every part of my body. Some things should probably just be written down in a journal, if written at all.
One thing that I've noticed is how pregnancy is all about extremes. I won't even feel like I have to pee, but then all of a sudden, my bladder feels so full that I am afraid to sneeze before I can get to the bathroom. I go from feeling like I don't need to eat yet, to feeling like I am going to pass out or throw up if I don't eat immediately. Yesterday, I was in the process of getting a bowl of cereal when I started dry heaving because I was so hungry and my mouth was so dry. One thing that is new for me with this pregnancy is being hungry almost all the time. I didn't have an appetite the first couple of weeks, but it is back in full force. I feel like I can relate very well to one of Callie's favorite books, The Very Hungry Caterpillar. If anyone is unfamiliar with this book, the caterpillar eats one thing, is still hungry, eats two things, is still hungry... and so on and so on until he just gorges himself and gets sick. That is basically my life. The doctors and books say that instead of eating three meals like usual, you should eat six mini-meals... but the only time I feel not hungry is when I eat a full meal. I am just going to have to start stuffing more of those in to my day.
The other most noticeable extreme is emotional. I wish I could compare my moods to a roller coaster, but that would imply at least some sort of gradual change. The Drop Zone would be a much better metaphor, because it goes from high to low in about .72346 seconds. Like those other symptoms, I don't even see it coming. Thankfully it seems to have eased off a little bit this week, but that could also be because we've had a lot more sun than in past weeks. Pregnancy and winter do not mix very well.
I also wanted to mention how great Josh has been through all of my ups and downs so far! Although he can't really empathize, he hasn't once complained about my complaining... and if you lived with me, you'd realize what a task that is! When Callie is whiny, it drives me insane so quickly that I wonder how Josh puts up with both of us sometimes. He doesn't say a thing when he comes home and Callie and I are laying in bed watching Blue's Clues, the house looking as messy as it did when he left. I remember reading somewhere not to ever expect your husband to have the same sympathy he did for you in your first pregnancy, but Josh has been pretty good so far.
Well that's about all I've got in me for now. Hopefully I will follow up soon with more of what's been going on in our lives, because, of course, not everything revolves around me :)
If you haven't seen it, here is the video that Josh made to announce the new baby: